Peter Cockburn

Fibrenew Nelson / Marlborough / West Coast: Peter Cockburn

Mobile restoration service to your home or business!

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25 Ways To Destroy A Couch

Repairing furniture for as many years as we have exposes us to a lot of “creative” methods in which couches can be destroyed.  Our leather repair experts have seen it all and them some. To lighten up your week, we thought we’d share our top 25 ways a couch can be destroyed. Keep in mind, not all of these are repairable and don’t try any at home, but even for some of these complete couch destroyers, we can bring the furniture back from the brink!

25 Ways To Destroy A Couch

Take it to an open field, and proceed to destroy it “Office Space”-style.

Plan for a summer bonfire, and use the couch as kindling for your s’mores.

Haul the couch out a window or off of a building (given there are no pedestrians within range).

Shred it like cheese in a sofa shredder.

Buy a set of skis, attach them to the bottom, and find a snowy hill/mountain.

Find an empty parking lot, attach wheels to the bottom of the couch, and pull it behind a truck.  See how many times you can swerve to make the couch hit a light post.

Find a trucker willing to make your couch his road kill.

One word: sledgehammer.

Go bungee jumping, except attach the couch to the bungee instead of yourself.

Nail to the bottom of a pool for underwater fun. For additional ambiance, add a side table and lamp.

Drizzle bacon grease all over the couch, then let your dogs do what they will with it.


Tape ketchup packets over the entire couch and tell your kids to jump on it.

For girls: break the frame underneath the cushions and invite over your significant other. Sit on the couch and act like you broke it, then cry hysterically about how fat you are. Tell him to get rid of the couch immediately.

For a complete Freddie costume on Halloween, use a chainsaw to cut the couch into sections during trick-or-treating.


Tote the couch to a bridge, then dump it off the side.

Donate the couch to a fraternity house.

Give your kids markers and set them loose in the living room.

Go four-wheeling after a rainy day, then roll around on your couch before showering.

Invite your hairy or slobbering dog to take a nap on the couch.

Before declawing your cat, allow him to use the couch as a scratching post.


Play “tug of war” with your couch – attach each end to a vehicle and see who breaks off the biggest piece.

Potty train your puppy on your couch.

Make your couch “outdoor furniture,” and leave it outside during a thunderstorm.


Take your couch on a skydiving trip but don’t pack its parachute right.

Invite your kids to eat their chocolate Easter bunnies on your couch.

If your couch met any of these disastrous fates or is just looking shabby, give one of our leather experts a call to bring it back to showroom condition.

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